Why Would You Judge Me? Know Me First!!

Why Would You Judge Me? Know Me First!!

It’s about time that people stop judging each other. It’s about time that we learn to deal with each other on the right basis. One major wide of the mark practice that we normally do is judging each other.

We tend to judge the actions of the others very quickly. A small action done by someone and that’s all we need to give him/her a label or categorize him/her. Everyone makes mistakes and we all know that, yet we throw judgments here and there without even thinking of the consequences.

Why would you base your judgment on someone’s nationality? Race? Color? Language? or looks? Can’t you wait until you talk to them, discuss their views, deal with them, and discover who they really are?

Judging people could have different forms. One form is judging your friends. Yes, your friends. By saying friends, we might mistakenly think that we know everything about them and that’s very dangerous. If you believe that you know your friend enough (while you don’t), then that will lead you to judge him/her improperly. Don’t rush you judgment, talk to your friend, tell him/her your concerns, ask them why they did what they did, and then you can make your judgment.

Let’s learn to give each other a chance to clarify ourselves. Let’s put the good intentions in front. And even when others do mistakes, let’s try to talk about it and find a way to forgive. Sometimes forgiveness is not easy but at least find a way to move on. If I do a big mistake from your perspective and if I break the rules that made you my friend, talk to me first and ask me why. It’s ok if you don’t like me as a friend anymore, but let’s talk about it first.

Stop judging people fast and easily. It’s not a candy to eat or a tea to drink. In case you judged someone, don’t spread your wise conclusion around. Keep it to yourself and let people have their own views.

14 thoughts on “Why Would You Judge Me? Know Me First!!

  1. Thanks Marwa, Appreciate your comment 🙂
    It’s very difficult, but it’s always good to at least try..
    And I hope to keep writing hehe,

  2. Hi Mustafa
    You are right and I agree with you
    But in some cases there are a difficult to do this with some people who are forcing you to judge them
    Judging people is not always bad but you have to know when you can do this .
    this topic is an interesting
    and your writing is very good
    keep on writing 🙂

  3. Sorry for the late reply my friends,

    Sami: That makes two of us, i really wish our teachers could plant these values inside each and every student. Thanks for your comment

    Habli: I agree that some people force you to judge them, but first give them few chances before the final word. Thank you 7abibi

    Heike: hehe, thanks a lot for your nice words, and i wish we have the same teachers u have, and thanks for reading my shared thoughts 🙂

    Nadia: it’s very difficult to go through that, i agree, but then as long as we are doing what we think is right, we should not care. It’s not easy to take the fast bad judgment away from people’s mind, but at least let’s send some wake up calls, and i wish you all the best.

    Lane: I might actually sound silly compared to your knowledge of this topic, but i totally agree with you, we have to judge others, or else how would we interact with them, but my whole point was WHEN and HOW to judge others, i didnt mean never judge, i meant judge after giving a chance and after knowing me, not cuz of any outside aspects that i dont have control of.
    your comment is deep and true, appreciate your valuable contribution. Thanks

    Budoor: Thank you for your words, and glad you liked it 🙂

  4. Hey Mustafa!

    Loved the post and I wanted to share with you some stuff i learned this semester:

    Judging people is a necessary part of survival since we live in communities with other people. From a primitive perspective, our ancestors had to learn to accurately judge others to assess whether they were friend/foe. If they misjudged, there could be serious consequences. Even today, we still must judge others because in the worst case scenario, others may try to take advantage of us. A common example of this at my school is that some people will skip a lot of lectures out of laziness and ask to borrow another person’s notes. If this lazy person does this repeatedly and you always give your lecture notes, you are incurring costs to yourself (time spent going to the lecture yourself, taking notes, and helping this person) for no benefit.

    The big question to me is not whether it is right or wrong to judge others but which factors should we judge others by. Should we judge by race? looks? actions?

    I would agree that judging others by superficial qualities such as race and appearance is unfair. We should try to get to know the person before sticking stereotypes on them. I find judging people’s actions to be the most difficult to judge accurately since you can attribute a person’s action to two factors: situational factors and personality.

    An example is if a person had a really terrible day and then suddenly acted mean to you. If you didn’t know this person well, you might come to the conclusion that this person is mean and would want to stay away from him. If you did know this person, you would probably attribute his action to a situational factor (the terrible day) and not attribute it to a part of his personality. Even among close friends, it can still be difficult to know what is going on but I agree communication is key to preventing any misunderstandings.

    Interesting post and keep on writing!

  5. Hey Mustafa,

    I think that is a great message but it is much easier said then done for most people. For example my boyfriend is Jewish of Egyptian decent, and I am a Muslim from Palestine. With that said, I am very proud of both of our roots, and I accept both of our traditions. However, to tell other people that I am dating a Jew automatically makes me a traitor and my boyfriend a Zionist. When the opposite couldn’t be more true. He has a Master’s degree from Oxford in Islam, and political science. He has a radio show that is before its time and is constantly fighting Western ignorance about what is really going on in the Middle East.

    There are some judgment’s that are so deeply seeded in peoples beliefs that they cannot come outside of what they have been taught their entire lives about a certain kind of people and realize that they also were not put on Earth to be judged. They dont even see a person anymore, they only see a stereotype.

    To get to my point, I dont think deciding to not judge someone is as easy as it may seem. It would require undoing years of brainwashing and judgment passed down from the one’s we trust the most (our family).

  6. Hey Stafa I agree and judge you aswell – here and now, very quick and painless and only on 6.5 articles (-one was Arabic, primary school student u know…)

    So here it comes are you ready? “I think you are a grrrreat writer!!!!” 🙂 and I hope that I can read many more of your articles! They are so thoughtful and I completely agree with you that people should not judge others only on what they think to have seen or heard -even if they are their friends. We have language to talk and discuss, explain and forgive not to accuse and judge and be angry at each other. Only those who are perfect should judge and there is no such person in this world.

    Ah yes and some teachers do teach that at school – or at least it is part of every language teacher’s (and some others) curriculum. It is part of the topic cultural studies that should teach tollerance firstly amogst those who are (supposed to be) like you and as a second step those who are not. Don’t know if that makes any sense in English hehe.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us!!!

  7. Great post my man… wallah you are right. It is too often that we judge each other and even more often that we are judged.

    The worst is when it happens within the family :S

    On the other hand, some people tend to do things that make it really hard to gain a positive impression about them (or at least push away the negative ones).

    I think it is one of the most important steps towards building true brotherhood and unity…

    Anyway, SAMBA’s homo online system isn’t working and it’s driving me crazy. When you coming to Jeddah?

  8. Great peace of writing I just wish that I read 10 years before. I really admire such mentality which makes it important to leave the judgement on people till the end.

    The worst thing is judge others from the early begging.

    Mustafa , I just hope that all teachers read what you wrote and convey it to their students… Indeed ,they will make a better society by doing this !

  9. Jose: thanks for reading and commenting, it’s ok, u r allowed to judge me 😀

    Abduallah: observing is a key word we need to understand. Also we dont want to be negative, if i see my friend doing a mistake, i dont judge him/her, i advice him/her. Being deceived by someone with double face, that’s a different story my friend. Generally, we should be careful but not rude, nice but not stupid, and helpful but not judgmental. Those fine lines are hard to get to, but we can try.
    Thanks for enriching my post with ur comments ..

  10. Another great post Mustafa!
    Well I want to add my opinion here. I agree with all what you said, but from a personal experience .. sometimes you think you know someone and it appears later that you don’t. Even If you spend years dealing with him and knowing him (like in college for example). So what I concluded after some incidents that don’t trust anyone but at the same time don’t judge anyone and be observant. Unfortunately, we shouldn’t act this way but our world today is full of double faced people who are pioneers when it comes to “Social Hypocrisy”.


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